My First Mother’s Day

Last weekend marked my very first Mother’s Day {weird!}.  The weekend happened to coincide with a work retreat for Tyler at The Homestead, which has quickly become our favorite getaway since we first visited in February 2012.  A free weekend in this mountain oasis?  Sign me up!

Sunday morning I woke up and was going to change my profile picture on Facebook, but quickly realized I had no pictures of me and Charlotte that a} weren’t selfies on my iPhone or b} taken after the first 10 days of her life.  Must be a mom thing—I have a TON of pictures of Tyler and Charlotte!  None of she and I.  So I asked Tyler to take advantage of our beautiful surroundings and take an obnoxious amount of pictures of the two of us…

Most of these were at brunch that morning, the rest were out on the front porch.

I believe this to be the first of many sitting sessions with mom fixing hair and bows…

Oblivious to my kisses….

My favorite.

But these three are the best…

Our little family.

It was odd for me to be told “Happy Mother’s Day” or receive any special attention because becoming a mom has been the greatest earthly joy I have known and I truly relish every moment.  It is hard work, but Charlotte—the pleasure is all mine.

May Ninth

So… I last left you with my hesitations and sentiments going into my first week back at work.

Spoiler alert: I survived. Charlotte is still breathing and I don’t think she hates me.

Last Monday night felt like my first day of high school… I carefully picked out my clothes.  My lunch was packed.  Charlotte’s bottles were all ready {okay, so that was less like high school}.  Everything I needed for the next morning was carefully laid out so I could spend as much time as I could with Charlotte and also get out the door on time.  I was nervous and starting to feel a little excited {cheerful texts from my co-workers helped} but also feeling sad and a little guilty for feeling excited.  I gave Charlotte 500 kisses when I put her to bed, like she wasn’t going to be there in the morning.

The next morning was a mix of new and normal…changing diapers and playing in bed and pumping and naptime.  But watching the clock and getting dressed and messing with my hair and checking my purse 60 times to make sure I had everything I needed.  Tyler delayed his departure so we were both home when Cora arrived and so he could help push me out the door.  Charlotte was already back down for her morning nap which helped.

I got out the door without incident, but teared up as soon as I got in my car.  I pulled it together and drove to work without incident.  And then I got out of my car, walked up the steps and teared up again.  I pulled it together and walked through the front door without incident.  And then I saw this sweet sign made by my co-workers and kiddos.

And teared up again and pulled it together again…And that’s pretty much how the day went!  No major breakdowns, just watery eyes followed by a swift “Pull it together sister!”

The morning went by quickly with a mix of new and familiar faces—the good thing about my job is that it is fast paced and once you get started seeing patients, there’s not a lot of downtime in between.  I would occasionally notice the time and think, “Oh, she’s probably still asleep…” or “She should be waking up for her bottle any time now…”  Cora was sweet about sending me texts and updates.

{And that was just three hours in.}

I had a home visit that afternoon that just happened to be about a mile from where we lived so I stopped by beforehand for a quick peak at Charlotte.  Knowing I might get to see her helped get me out the door on that first day.  Of course, she was sweet and fine and Cora kindly tolerated with my craziness.

The rest of the day at work went similarly to the morning—our office manager baked a cake to make me feel celebrated and I enjoyed spending time with some of my favorite kids and catching up with their parents and nannies.  My co-workers seemed excited to see me {I’d texted one the day before and asked, “No sympathy hugs please!! Only cheery ones!” Or else I knew I’d have a meltdown…} . I definitely felt rusty though!  Most of my sessions were just getting re-acquainted with the kids and assessing how they’d changed over the past few months.  Everyone tolerated my spacey brain and lack of new ideas on my first day back with them!  I worked hard to stay on top of my paperwork so I could get out the door as fast as possible… A sweet baby and a paid baby-sitter are sure way to get you the door at 5:00!

Charlotte was napping when I got home and Cora gave a detailed run down of their day.  Of course, all went well, just as I expected.  My hesitations going back to work had nothing to do with Charlotte’s welfare with Cora!

I enjoyed the rest of the evening with Charlotte just like normal and by bedtime it was almost like I hadn’t been away.  There was so much build-up to this day and all of the anticipation left me celebrating my survival… And then I realized I had to do it all again tomorrow.

This was my new normal.

I went from triumphant to again unsure and emotional.

But the next day came and I was blessedly running late, leaving no time for lingering or sadness.  I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly the day went, again catching up with old and new faces, and shaking the dust from my brain.  There were a few moments I would catch myself feeling proud…I was doing it!  I’d spent time with my girl that morning, made it out the door in matching, clean clothes, and was at work doing my job the best I could after three months away.  I was a working mom. 

And it wasn’t that bad!  I wasn’t just surviving and stashing away tissues.  I was enjoying my time with my co-workers and patients, and was staying on top of everything that needed to be done.  Wednesday ended as Tuesday did…Charlotte was in her crib when I got home and we spent the rest of the afternoon playing.  I even managed to cook dinner!

Thursdays I only work until lunchtime and since we were going out of town for another work trip, Tyler stayed home with her. 

And just like that, after all that dread and build up, my first week was over!  I was relieved and proud of myself.  While I know I will probably always prefer to be with Charlotte full time, I think the decision to work right now is the best one.  For all of the reasons I previously named…financial responsibility, maintaining my skill set, using the degree I worked for, being an example for my kids...

So here we are!  Our new normal.  I made it to the other side and it’s not all that bad.  Dare I say it might even be good?  Okay, not sure I’m ready for that yet.  Maybe one day.  For now, it works!

I am so thankful for a husband that supports my time at home, instead of resenting me.  I am thankful for a workplace and a career that supports me and allows me to control my schedule. I am thankful for in-home care so Charlotte gets to stay home. I am thankful for sweet friends who love my daughter.  For all this, I give thanks.

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 

                                I Thessalonians 5:18

May Seventh

So I've had this all written in my head for awhile and was supposed to post this on Monday. But I was too busy pouting and snuggling with Charlotte to get that done. So let's all jump in our flux capacitors and pretend that it's Monday {but really, Thank God it's not} and that I'm starting work tomorrow...

I go back to work tomorrow.

The date of May 7th has been a dreaded circle on the calendar for months and I've spent the last few weeks whimpering {ok, sobbing} at the idea of returning to work.

If I'm being completely honest, I don't think I really understood stay at home moms before. Once you have two, three, four kids, sure...it's a matter of necessity, child care cost vs. salary...a practical, budget-based decision. But one kid? Aren't you bored? Don't you crave adult interaction? Don't you want an identity other than "Mom?" I didn't get it.

And then I had Charlotte.

And I relished every single, solitary second with her. I didn't miss work. I didn't miss adults {okay, I'm half recluse anyway...}. I was completely, utterly fulfilled by being a mom. And I didn't want to do anything else... including going back to work. 

And it had nothing to do with working, in and of itself. It's not that I didn't want to work because I was lazy. And it's not that I didn't want to work because I worry about Charlotte. She'll be fine. But I didn't want to go back to work because I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want to miss those soft smiles after nap time. I didn't want to miss those finger clutches during her bottles. If I was at work, I wasn't being her mom. And I don't want to do anything but be her mom.

So the closer and closer May 7th came, the bigger the knot in my stomach and lump in my throat. My sweet friend Cora, who will be keeping Charlotte, would come over to see our routine and spend time with Charlotte. And I'd be fine, showing her where we keep things and how I burp her. And then I'd close the door behind her and sob. As every week got closer, I'd tell myself "This time in two weeks... This time in one week..." Being at the beach last week was a nice distraction because work seemed so far away. And by then, I just pretended it wasn't happening, rather than sitting around making myself sad.

And now, here we are. May 6th. {Remember, we're in the Flux Capacitor.}

"This time tomorrow..." 

And my heart breaks. I love this dear, sweet child with every fiber of my being. I've fed her nearly every bottle. And witnessed every cry. I know every diaper and every ounce, every outfit, witnessed every milestone. And now I have to leave her and I hate it. 

The rational side of me {that's deep, deep, deep down inside of me} keeps saying, "She's not dying...She doesn't have a terminal illness...you're just going back to work." "She'll only be awake two times while you're away..." "You'll be with her more days per week than you'll be away." And it helps a little. mA little.

But somewhere deep down, if I quit working completely at this moment in time, I think I'd always question that decision, even if I adore my time at home with Charlotte. Fiscally, it's the most responsible decision for our family.  And I worked so hard for my degree and I spent a lot of money on it. And the Lord has given me talents that shouldn't be squandered-- I have felt called to this field and to work with children for a very long time.  And I LOVE my job.  And I want to be an example to Charlotte...of what, I can't find the right word for.  But I'm sure you get what I mean.

So who knows what's going to happen.  But tomorrow is going to come and I have a commitment to work.  So I'll wake up and suck it up and get dressed and go.  And I will praise Jesus that Charlotte is able to stay in our house, in very capable, trusted hands while I am away.  And I will praise Jesus that I am so, so, so lucky to be her mom in the first place.

So here goes...

Three Months!

Charlotte, you are three months old!  Three months has gone by so quickly—it is hard to believe in the same amount of time, you will be six months old!

You don’t have a doctor’s appointment this month, so I have no idea how big you are!  I did the ultra scientific method of standing on the scale with and without you {which unfortunately made me look at my own weight…} and you are about 12 pounds.

Clothes:  You are wearing 3-6 month clothes, mostly 3 month, and are wearing size 1 diapers.

Sleeping: You take three naps a day—one in the morning, one around noon, and another in the afternoon.  You go to bed between 7:30 and 8 and sleep until 7 or 8.  There are still mornings you decide to be awake at 5am, but if we let you fuss, you fall back asleep.  We still swaddle you but we are starting to wean you by swaddling you with one arm free during your naps.  We call you the one armed baby.  Oh, and no more Moses basket!  You look so little in that big ol’ crib all by yourself.

You’re still cute and still look a lot like your dad!  Every once in awhile I think you look like your Aunt Becky, but it could just be your big blue eyes that make me think that.  And your hair is definitely getting lighter…it will be interesting to see how blonde you get.

You are getting a flat spot on the right side of your head because you like to sleep with your head turned to the right.  So crazy PT mommy came out and is nutty about turning your head to the left and spending time on your tummy.  And I make you wear this hat a lot, which keeps you off the right side—I call it your do rag and it is not your fave.  Have I mentioned you don’t like hats?

.

You do love your tummy and get super chatty when you’re in front of a mirror.  In general, you’ve become very talkative this month.

You are no longer oblivious to all of those toys hanging in your face—you are starting to grab them and activate the sounds.  You occasionally grab your feet—I have a feeling they will become your new obsession this month.

We are still BFing but you are almost exclusively on bottles. I erroneously thought you were supposed to use a size 1 bottle sucker {I am avoiding using that word that rhymes with sipple…} through 3 months—oops.  We moved you up to size 2 this week and you now down your bottles in five minutes flat.  I’m surprised you didn’t let us know sooner you needed the next size…

NEW things you LOVE: Your fingers—you try to get your entire fist in your month so much you end up gagging yourself.  You are also a crazy drooler.  Oh, and spitting up.  I don’t know if you love it, but you do it all.the.time.

NEW things you HATE: getting your nose sucked with that nose sucker thing.  You WIG OUT when we do that.

Firsts this month…

 

You went to work with Daddy for an entire day!  I was a nervous wreck, but all of the sweet girls in his office had things under control… The boys, not so much. {8 wks}

First airplane trip {9 wks}

First trip to Nebraska for your first Easter! {9 wks}

First trip to the zoo! We can’t see you, but you’re just on the edge of that picture…sound asleep in your stroller. It was so fun to see Tyler! {9 wks}

No more Moses basket! {12 wks}

Gabbing away…

 

  

First trip to the Cherry Blossoms {and a picnic with Daddy!}

 

Trying out your Bumbo {not initially a fan…}

First trip to the White House! {12 wks}

First Baby-sitter! {12 wks}

First baseball game! {12 wks}

And three month picture purge… Some of my favorites from the last month.

Mommy Update: I ran my first race last weekend, my favorite DC race—the GW Parkway classic. It was 10 miles and I just did a walk-run, but it felt good.  My body feels back to normal, though a bit weak and squishy.  I have about five pounds left to lose, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to lose another 50 before I don’t look like I had a baby.  I broke down and bought my first tankini for our beach trip next week.

Speaking of weight loss and squishy bellies—I am a walking advertisement for Stroller Strides!  I started this exercise class last week and am now addicted.  Charlotte gets to come with and she typically sleeps through the whole thing.  But since everyone else has their babies, it’s NBD if your kid has a meltdown.  The class is as hard as you want it to be—you pick what resistance bands to use, you can walk or run, and there are always alternate ways to perform the exercises.  I seriously love them.  Locals mamas—come out to this event tomorrow! It’s free! 

I return to work next week and have been crying about it for the last three… It’s not that I don’t want to work and it’s not that I worry about Charlotte {my friend Cora will be watching her which is a HUGE blessing…I think, second to Jesus, she is who you would want watching your kiddo}—I just love being with her.  Why would I want to hire someone to do a job I love? That being said, I am looking forward to seeing some of my favorite kiddos and I know it will be good for me to get back into my job in the long run.  And I’m only going back 2.5 days a week, so I really can’t complain.

We are off to the beach this weekend before I go back to work!  Tyler has a big work event in South Carolina and will be working in the district for the week, so Charlotte and I decided to tag along.  Why not?  I can’t wait to see this munckin in a bathing suit!

So that’s that Charlotte!  We can’t believe how big you are or how much we love you.  Everyday just gets better and we are so, so thankful.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights…”

                                                          James 1:17

Cake Dip

So on our recent trip to Nebraska, a friend of mine introduced me to my favorite new treat and I’m not sure I love her for it or hate her.  I’m talking to you, Shelly.

I’ve pinned a gazillion funfetti recipes on Pinterest…funfetti pancakes, funfetti rice krispie treats… I’ve never made any of them but the trend confirms we all seem to have some taste bud nostalgia obsession for this childhood boxed cake mix.

Well, my friend made this cake dip while we were staying with her and I officially fell head over heels.  I cannot stop telling people about it, I’ve become a cake dip evangelist. I love Jesus, Tyler, Charlotte, and Cake Dip.

{source}

Apparently it’s Weight Watchers so I’m surprised I haven’t heard about it….and that it’s Weight Watchers!  {Am I the only who’d never had this?}

It is ridiculously easy to make and even easier to eat so here it goes… You don’t even need a pencil for this:

Mix one box of funfetti cake mix, two cups of low-fat plain greek yogurt, and one cup of light Cool Whip.

That’s it.

You can chill it or whatever, but then you don’t get to eat it right away, so…do what you will.  You can use animal crackers, Vanilla Wafers, graham crackers, or any other sweet snack to scoop it with…because that’s what this dip needs: more sugar.

I warn you, it is insanely addictive and hard to put away.  I know nothing about the nutrition—even though it’s WW, I’m afraid to look.  So you’ll have to Google that yourself!

So there you go!  Jesus Saves, John 3:16, and cake dip is amazing.

MY Letter to New Moms

So I’ve only been a mom for two months—in the grand scheme of things, I don’t know much but I know I love you what it’s like to be a new mom.  And I’m new enough that I still remember life on the other side.  One thing’s for sure: life. is. different.  It’s so different that it can’t really be explained because it’s wonderful and difficult and tiring and fun in ways that you’ve never experienced.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that people don’t try to share their experience.

I might be alone in feeling this way, but I felt a ton of negativity thrown my way when I was pregnant!  Yes, there were plenty of people who were thrilled, constantly checking on me, and so enthusiastic in their excitement for me.

But I received an equal amount of groaning and eye rolling and negative accounts…

“My kid cried for three months straight and didn’t sleep through the night for two years!”

“You’ll never sleep again!”

“Are you sure you’re ready for this??” {As a mom waves her arm across her three screaming kids under five… For the record, NO—I’m not ready for that!  I’m not giving birth to five year old triplets, I’m giving birth to ONE tiny baby.}

“Enjoy those projects while you can, you can’t do that when you have kids!”

“Sure, they’re cute when they’re little, but wait until she’s 13!”

“Yeah, you think you’re ready for that baby to come out but you will eventually wish that baby were back inside you!”

The Facebook statuses of some of my mom friends alone were enough to make me want to cut out my ovaries. People were constantly telling me what I couldn’t, shouldn’t, or wouldn’t be able to do for the next twenty years. Running. DIY projects. Traveling. Sleeping. Socializing. Dates.  You name it, somebody let me know I wouldn’t be able to do it once “that baby” came.  I was super annoyed and pretty surprised at this lack of support from other parents.  I’m about to burst with happiness and with baby—why would fellow moms be so discouraging??

I think many meant for it to be a preemptive, “I’m with ya, sister.  We’ve all been there” but all I took from it was, “Get ready—your life’s gonna suck!”  Whether or not those things are true wasn’t the point— I was in a time of great excitement and anticipation mixed with plenty of my own fear.  If indeed all of those things are coming my way, why not just encourage me? Tell me what I can look forward to.  Instead, I wearily shared at my baby shower how anxious I was about what was coming my way and I’m pretty sure everyone thought I was hoping that baby would take up permanent residence inside me.

To the same extent, there are these letters floating around the interwebs.  Letters to new moms written by blogger moms intended to be a funny repartee on the challenges of spit-up and diapers and sleeplessness.  Some of them are legitimately funny {and true} while there are several that I find biting and sarcastic and so mean-spirited toward motherhood that I just have couldn’t find the funny in it.  Perhaps I’m too sensitive or maybe I don’t have a sense of humor, but they seemed to make parenthood out to be a jail sentence rather than the roller coaster ride it is.

{Except they’d follow up their four page rant with one last line, like “But you’ll really love your kid,” in some last ditch effort to undo all of the damage to the scarred preggos who made it to the end of the post}

So, if you’re expecting or maybe thinking of possibly trying…one day, or your third cousin’s daughter once had a baby, I just wanted to take a minute to tell you what you DO get to look forward to…

Dear New Moms…

You have no idea what’s about to happen.  There is a love coming your way you’ve never experienced.

You will love the ever living daylights out of that little baby.  If you’re like me, it may not start right away.  But give it a week or two…and then day by day, it will grow exponentially.  You will love them so much, you’ll spend your days praying against any bad thing that could take her from you. You will love them so much you won’t even be able to talk about it because you might start crying and never stop.

You will stare into their little eyes for hours a day. You will hold them and hold them and hold them more and still feel guilty when you put them down to take a shower. You will love holding them that much.

They won't utter a single word to you for a year.  They will cry and eat and poop a lot—and you will still miss them when they're sleeping.

You will discuss how many ounces and how many diapers {“Poopy or just wet?”} and how many naps on a nightly basis with your spouse—and it will all be done with great and sincere interest.

They do cry- but most of the time {I know, you can reach your wit’s end}, you will ache for them more than you will lose patience. Because you love them and want to heal their pain and make them feel better and that's how you survive the crying.

When they stop crying!  That is the best feeling in the world!  Their face changes from red to pink to pale.  Their skin softens and their cheeks will still be a flushed pink.  It’s the sweetest moment in time when they look up at you with those finally calm, sleepy eyes.

Breastfeeding is strange for sure—it definitely takes some getting used to {I still tell Tyler, “There is MILK coming OUT. OF. MY. BODY.”}.  But it guarantees a half hour of quiet snuggle time throughout the day where you both just sit and stare at each other.  It’s something only you can provide.

After weeks of blank stares, they will smile at you! One little curl of their lip at a time.

They will wrap their whole hand around one joint of your finger. It’s not even their choice—take advantage of that reflex! It will make you feel their love when they can't express it…because they DO love you.

Nothing is sweeter than a baby sleeping on your chest.

You will sincerely, out loud, celebrate every time they burp.

Those Johnson & Johnson commercials will make you cry buckets…

You will stand in your kitchen and hear your husband in full-on baby talk having a conversation with your four week old.  You will catch him wearing a duck towel on his head dancing to Disney music while he gives her a bath.

You will fight over who gets to hold her in church. “But you held her last week!”

When you get in bed at night, you will curl under your spouse’s arm, both of you utterly exhausted but proud you survived another day and you did it together.  Parenthood challenges and changes your marriage for sure, but it also unites you in a way little else can.  Your love will be taken to a new place as you watch one another become parents…

She will coo and gurgle and smile and start to follow you around the room with her eyes. You will be greeted with smiles from her crib in the morning.  She will sit with you and scan books at a much earlier age than you expect.  You will go on walks together and dance around the house.

Parenthood is hard and tiring and messy, for sure.  It’s not a Hallmark commercial.  Your marriage changes, your role in society changes.  Your time is split.  You’ll change a lot of diapers and clothes and find dried spit up on every surface of your house.  You’ll be tired and hormonal.  All of those things are true.  There is no experience or emotion that every parent hasn’t been through—you are never alone in those hard times.  But they are nothing compared to the tiny joys that will fill your days in the weeks and months ahead…Everyone will tell you, “And it just gets better!” and you won’t believe them because you just can’t imagine anything better.  So don’t dread what’s coming—be really, really, really excited.

Love,

Me

{P.S. Current moms, cut that crap out! Quit scaring the newbies! We'll experience it all in time, no more unsolicited horror stories.}

Everyday Life…

Life at home with Charlotte is wonderful and much different than I thought it would be… I thought I would be bored or lonely by week four and nothing could be farther from the truth.  Yes, the first few weeks were rough and I may or may not have cried every time Tyler walked in the door, but we finally started to settle into a nice routine here at home with Charlotte! 

I read Baby Wise and we’ve been implementing a consistent schedule with her from very early on, but with a constant stream of visitors, it can be hard to fully commit to.  We tend to make progress with her ability to fall asleep on her own, get consistent naps, etc… and then a new set of family arrives and everyone wants to snuggle her or feed her and do things a little differently and who can blame them?  But she gets a bit overstimulated and the visitors try to fix her fussiness in their own ways and a bad cycle gets started with poor sleep cycles and extra crying and everything gets thrown off a little.  Not a criticism, just a very clear pattern of what I’ve seen over the past two months!  We will probably plan things differently with baby #2…

{Side note: this is what works for us!  In constantly reading and over-analyzing every bat of her eyelashes, I read a lot of message boards and people are ridiculously opinionated {and obnoxious} about feeding styles and schedules, and especially anti-Baby Wise.  I could care less about how you feed your baby, as long as it works for you!  This works for us, it allows me to more easily plan my day and anticipate her needs.  And it also keeps me sane, which makes me a better mom, and allows Tyler and I to still be grown-ups.  She’s happy, healthy, and eats and sleeps like a champ.  If you’re not into Baby Wise, that’s cool….don’t do it with your kids.  I’m just pre-empting any crazy comments…}

BUT, when I’m home with Charlotte and it’s just the two or three of us, this is what life has started to look like…

{Warning: this is boring and mundane, I know. It is really meant for me so I can record this part of her early life. Plus, when #2 comes along I’m not completely clueless again…}

8 AM:  Charlotte wakes up!  Sometimes she wakes up earlier, around 7:15 or 7:30, but if all goes according to plan {hahahahahaha}, she wakes up at 8 ready to eat!  Tyler is typically heading off to work then and I nurse her in bed while watching the Today Show and enjoy a cup of coffee.  She nurses about 25 minutes, I burp her, change her diaper, and then she is the happiest baby on the block…  I enjoy her being awake for about 30-45 minutes depending.  We look at books in bed, have tummy time on Mommy {her neck is getting so strong!}, and trade silly faces.

9:00-9:30 AM:  She goes down for a nap anywhere between 9 and 9:15.  I try to avoid swaddling her for this nap since she spent the last twelve hours wrapped up and I let her sleep in her swing for a change of scenery.  This used to be her worst nap of the day {the 45 minute intruder is a very real phenomenon!} but has slowly become one of her best.  If she does wake up, I let her fuss for a few minutes and she typically falls back asleep.  If we don’t have places to be, I usually spend this time on me being lazy, writing blogs, perusing Pinterest, getting dressed, or reading Chronicles of a Baby Wise Mom.  {I am a walking advertisement for this woman—she is a treasure trove of information on all things baby.  I used to spend at least 30 minutes a day clicking around on her site.}

11AM: Wake her up to feed & change her diaper. Afterward we enjoy another 30-45 minutes of being awake.  I miss her when she sleeps so much!  I put her on her play mat downstairs with some music or lay her in her crib and turn on her mobile around this time while I try to pick up the house. 

12:00-12:15PM: Another naptime.  I know Charlotte is ready for a nap because she gets fussy and nothing helps.  She’s full, clean, and no amount of pacis or scenery changes settles her down.  And like clockwork, it strikes when she’s been awake about an hour {I originally wrote this when she was 5 weeks…her awake time has gradually gotten longer}.  If I’m going to run errands, I put her down in her carseat; if we’re staying home, I typically swaddle her and put her in her Moses basket {which sits in her crib}.  Knock on wood, this is usually her best nap of the day.  She sleeps hard until 2:00.  Here I try to make myself look presentable, eat lunch, and finish things around the house.  Or I try to run an errand because she sleeps so well and I’m not so freaked out that she’s going to cry in public {she has gotten much better about this over the last few weeks, but weeks 3-5, she was a grenade that could go off any minute and I avoided any and all errands with her.  By now, I can pretty much take her out with me anytime and she’s good, or at least settles quickly}.

{Her strolling bud, Nathan}

2:00PM: Wake her up to feed & changer her diaper.  If the weather is nice, we go on a long walk and she typically falls asleep halfway through.  If it’s nasty or cold, we stay in. She loves to be over my shoulder and look out the window behind the sofa.  Her eyes get so big and she tries very hard to hold her head up as high as she can.  Her awake time is the shortest of the day though.  She is fussy by…

3:00PM: Naptime.  If we’re at home, I try to take this nap with her.  We have worked hard so that Charlotte can fall asleep by herself—we don’t need to feed her or rock her much for her to fall asleep.  But who doesn’t love to snuggle with a newborn?  So this is the nap where she falls asleep with me on the sofa.  {Or, because she’s so good at falling asleep alone, she doesn’t fall asleep very well when she’s held.  So I’ll put her in her swing and once she’s asleep, I selfishly take her out and then we snuggle…}  If I’m lucky, she sleeps hard until 5:00.  I usually just squeeze in 30 or 45 minutes.

5:00PM: Wake her up to eat & changer her diaper.

6:00-8:00PM: This chunk of the day is a crap shoot.  She is usually cranky around 6 or 6:15 but that doesn’t mean she’ll sleep.  Or she will sleep but only lasts 20 or 30 minutes before she’s fussy again.  Nothing really cures it either—swaddling, eating, rocking, alone time on her mat… The “witching hour” is alive and well in our house, folks.  Tyler usually gets home around this time too, poor guy.  I get sweet baby Charlotte all day and he comes home to the screamer… {This has recently started to improve in the last few weeks or so but it was bad weeks 4-6}  Tyler and I stupidly tried to run late afternoon errands a few times before we figured out this was consistently a bad time of day for her.  I have no idea why we didn’t learned our lesson… Every single time we put a sweet, sleeping baby in the car only to push a screaming baby around a store whilst everyone stared at us like we’re the worst parents ever.  Other days, she sleeps like a rock until 7:00.  She is predictably unpredictable.  We have recently started taking walks and giving her baths during this chunk of time to keep her happy—she LOVES baths.  I predict she will be a water baby…

7:30-8:00PM: She eats at 7:30 or 7:45.  We change her, swaddle her, and Tyler gives her a bottle while they rock in her room.  He puts her down in her crib and she is out like a light.  She used to cry for ten minutes or so, but she has consistently started to fall asleep on her own, no crying, no problem.  I pump while Tyler gives her her bottle.

8:00-11:00PM: Grown up time!  This is where we debrief on our day, eat dinner, watch TV, and stare at the video monitor and talk about how perfect our baby is.  I start my own bedtime routine around 10:30, so after she eats at 11 we can all go straight to bed.

11:00PM:  Tyler does this feeding again with a bottle while I pump.  On the advice of my sister, we started giving her formula at this feeding because it takes longer to digest and keeps her fuller for longer.  This feeding is called a “dream feed” because she goes straight back to sleep afterward.  We change her diaper first, re-swaddle her, and then feed her.  She is typically back in her crib fast asleep by 11:15.

Somewhere in the middle of the night…:  She has consistently been sleeping in stretches that match her age.  At four weeks, she would sleep about four hours before waking hungry.  At five weeks, she started sleeping until 4am.  At six weeks, until 5am…  She’s been a little all over the board this week though—one night she only slept until 4.  Last night she slept until 5.  And the night before that she slept through the night until 7am!  She’s slept through the night about five times, so we’re hopeful this will start becoming more regular.

And then our day starts over!  And while this is our typical day, it is by no means a guarantee.  We are reaping the rewards of being consistent with her, but she is still yittle and we’re both still learning how to live in this world together.  So there are naps with constant interruptions, gas spells, and diaper blow outs.  I’ve had one hand of painted {now chipping} fingernails for two weeks, a pile of unfolded laundry has been in the basement for a solid three, I consider myself lucky to brush my teeth before 5pm, and I only average two showers a week.  I’ve learned to take full advantage when she is napping well because there is no guarantee her next nap will go well, so don’t delay errands or chores you need to get done!

{And let’s be real—this is several weeks in and she is my only child—she has my undivided attention to work on this routine.  And not every day is all naps and smiles and leisurely strolls-- I wrote a blog on the harsh realities of being a new mom, but I need to clean it up a bit before I post it.  I was in a really bad mood when I wrote it and it might scare all you preggos…}

Overall, I am loving my maternity leave and am trying to prepare my heart for going back to work.  I am going back part time and a dear friend will be watching her for me, so I still consider myself so lucky to have time home with her and peace of mind when I’m away… She is such a joy and though our days are routined, it never gets old.  She smiles more and more every day and is starting to coo and chat, especially after she eats and is full and happy.  I love watching her grow and develop.  She’s pretty much the best!